(a past due post that i finally uploaded)

wow. today's October 31! not that I'm all excited or what, 'cause I'm not. In fact, I even feel anxious since I have a paper due this weekend. And again, I'm cramming.

Anyway, today's not one of those ordinary days here in the U.S. Why? Okay, obviously it's Halloween! And that means wearing costumes, pretending to be the character your playing, and - the most awaited part - Trick or Treating! Chocolates and candies! Of course I'm not speaking for myself here, okay? I'm speaking for my younger siblings who are all excited for their costumes. My youngest brother will be wearing a ninja costume with some other props. My other brother will be transforming his own karate uniform to look like a Jedi - of course he has his props too. And my little sister will be more like a fairy or princess. She will be wearing a gown, a wonderful butterfly mask, and will be bringing a pink butterfly wand. Well, before I reveal my own Halloween get up, notice how all my siblings planned on wearing something nice and "not scary" for this year's Trick or Treat? A ninja does not look horrifying at all nor does a Jedi and certainly not a fairy slash princess (I kinda refrain from identifying her costume as that of a fairy since she does not have wings.)

I'm gonna let you in on a little secret here. A few months ago, I turned to the other side. (scary laugh) Last year's Halloween, I chose to dressed up as a karate girl (my dream!!!). And this year, I planned on stretching my limits and finally have the courage to show my other side. I will be dressing up as a witch!!!

Finally, a dream come true! I'm a witch! Just kidding. Well, I'm not really kidding since I'm planning on dressing up as a witch. Oh by the way, don't tell I'm too old for Halloween and Trick or Treating 'cause believe me I would desperately want to just stay at home from work and finish up all my requirements for school (not to mention catch up on a lot of reading and research). Unfortunately, I have to go with my siblings and watch over them (well, collect some chocolates and candies for myself too. *laugh*).

Halloween is for everyone. That includes you and me, okay? All the children, the parents, the young, and the young at hearts. Halloween doesn't have any age requirements nor limits. Just enjoy! And remember why we celebrate it. Anyway, I may not finish this post since I have to prepare myself for Trick or Treating. Ciao!!

Oh by the way, don't party too much, don't drink and drink, and don't throw tomatoes at your neighbors just because they ran out of goodies.

Okay okay. This post is not a lecture about "The Issue", okay? I'm not going to write about that.

I would just like to share my observation.

The other night, I was searching on the internet where I could watch for free the documentary "The 11th Hour." I needed to watch it to have a headstart for my next English class paper. Anyway, I know several sites that host movies and videos even before the certified dvd's are officially out. So I searched those sites, used several keywords and, unfortunately, failed. I could not find the movie anywhere. For whatever reason, I don't really know. However, I came up with an assumption. Could it be that people care less about this growing issue of global warming? I refuse to believe it though but what else can I think of when movies and shows from almost all countries (from GP to R and even X rated) could be found in those sites other than this one?

Well, I may be wrong with my assumption. I hope I am.

I would still want to believe that people in this world care about the issue of global warming and would want to help stop it. This earth is the only home that we humans have. She chose to help us survive these years of existence and probably it is time that we help her too.

wow! i made it through. after a week (or more) of sleepless nights because of midterm exams and papers, i can finally say it's over! i can now give some time to myself and to evaluate some things in my life.

by Banky W.

This video may not be the best video out there but the message of the song is great. Hope others may take a lesson from it. (others huh? *lol* )

If you really love someone, don't take them for granted. Don't wait for them to disappear from your lives. Don't wait for that time of regrets when you can't have them back anymore. Cherish each moment with the people who matter to you; be it your parents, siblings, friends or lovers, for a chance only comes once. Not everything gets to have a second chance nor can something that happened be undone.

I find myself again

Listening to sad love songs

I guess I'm missing you badly

For they remind me of only you

I wish I could hold your hand

As I sing their melodies in my heart

But I guess I can only do that in my dreams

'Cause I cannot hold you anymore like we used to

Now I know it is true

that change is the only constant thing in this world

Since your love for me has gone

If I could only stop it from happening

But I just can't

The only thing I can do now is to tell this love

to accept the fact that I may never have you back

Every night I try to tame this heart

to stop the tears from falling hard

I tell myself I'll be just fine

but each time I try, our memories fill my mind

'Till now they bring me smiles

But is it right that I live on the past?

And ignore the echoing truth

That you've found a future without me

Now I know it is true
that change is the only constant thing in this world
Since your love for me has gone
If I could only stop it from happening
But I just can't
The only thing I can do now is to tell my heart
to accept the fact that I may never have you back

'Til now, I still hide from the sun

Hoping that when I open my doors again,

it may change its' mind

That it'll guide you back to me

and together we can finally be happy

Okay here I am again misusing my time. I got 28 minutes left before for my next class and, instead of studying, I searched for a computer lab to use a computer since all those in the library were taken already.

Now, what am I gonna write about? Nope, I'm not going to start writing my English paper on why the U.S. should withdraw from Iraq now nor my 10-page midterm paper for my Political Science class. Yes, that's right I haven't started writing both papers which are due next week on the same day with the exams. How am I gonna finish them ontime? Well, I don't know. *smile*

Well, as my hint says I was in the library earlier. I was in the same floor where I used to go everyday. And the floor where I lost my wallet - or should I say left my wallet. Yup! Last saturday I was there the whole afternoon "studying" while waiting for my next class. I had brought so many stuff that my back and shoulders were hurting already. So each time I go to the restroom I leave the rest of my stuff behind and just bring with me my cellphones and wallet. Unfortunately, when I was about to leave the building, I left my wallet in the restroom! It didn't occur to me to check my stuff since I was so caught up with reviewing for the test (talk about cramming queen).

(Okey. This is part two. I didn't get to finish the post 'cause I went to class already. I continued writing this a day after.)

Yeah. Out of stupidity and clumsiness I left my wallet in the restroom!! The next day, after mass, we went to Barnes and Nobles 'cause my sister wanted to buy a book. I presented to pay for it but when I searched my purse my wallet wasn't there. So I was trying to be positive and thought that I might have just left it at home. After we got home, I right away searched for it and in a way panicked when I couldn't find it. I told my family I probably lost it and my sister helped me out. No one helped me but her. What's funny was I shouted "Help me! (tabangi ko ninyo)" On why I said it was funny - I'll explain it in awhile. Anyway, I recalled the last time I saw it was when I was still in the library. I rushed to my room and got hold of the planner the university provided us and searched for the library's contact number. I was connected to the Security Office and got it confirmed - my wallet was there. I headed back downstairs and told my family I knew where I left it. I wanted to go back to school right then to get it but my dad insisted that we eat late lunch first. My mom was being her pessimistic self again and told my dad to drive me over there 'cause who knows it's probably just my wallet that's left and all the other stuff were taken. So we drove all the way back to the university which was.. don't ask me anymore how long. When I got there, I rushed to the library's security office, they looked at my wallet and checked for my ID card to confirm it's mine. They told me I was lucky since nothing was taken and the person who found it returned it. And when I personally checked my wallet, indeed, everything were there. I was so stupid too to put all my stuff in my wallet - my paycheck, my ID card, ATM, University and library card. Gosh! If that person had malicious intents she/he could probably had taken all the money I spent months working and saving. And thankfully she/he didn't.

Well, I can't really avoid but think of negative things since few days before that my cousin-in-law's purse was stolen. She went to mass and accidentaly left her purse in the car. And when she came back her windows were smashed up and her purse taken. In just split seconds, her credit cards were used for gas and her check to pay for car repair. It was only few days after that check was deposited, that the police knew who he was but then he had already fled from San Francisco to San Diego.

Well, anyway, back to me. To whoever that person is who returned my wallet, from the bottom of my heart "THANK YOU SO MUCH!" (That black wallet that was left in the girls restroom in the fourth floor of the UNLV Lied Library.) You are so kind and honest! God will surely bless you. Despite the fact that more and more people nowadays, because of poverty, do so many crazy stuff you remain a true servant of God. (Yes, there is widespread poverty here in the U.S. and life is also hard here.) I know I may never get to know and thank you in person but I hope you do know that you did save my life for returning that single wallet. I hope and pray that more people will be just like you. You're one of those that give the rest of the world hope that there is still kindness in this world that is worth fighting for. Thank you!

And to my cousin and his family, don't worry. Time will come that person will be captured and he will serve the punishment for his crime.

Now, later that day my Uncle told me that he got shocked. Why? Not 'cause I left my wallet. But because it was the very very first time that he heard me say "Help me." He never heard me ask help from anybody before. Because I've always depended on myself and only myself. And, of course, GOD.

Bagong umaga na naman
At eto na naman ako todo paganda
Umaasang ngayon ay mapansin mo na
Ang lihim kong pagtingin na tinatago nang matagal na

Sa pagpasok sa klase
Ikaw ang unang nakita
Puso'y bilis na kumakabog
Habang naghahanap ng tamang salita

Nakita kang sobrang masaya
Ngunit ang mga tawa'y di sa 'kin pala
Ang pag-ibig na nasa 'yong mga mata'y para sa iba
Subalit sinisigaw ng mga kinang ay pagmamahal
Dahil kagaya ko,
ang iniibig mo'y may mahal nang iba

Sa araw-araw na ika'y kasama
Sakit ng puso mo'y aking nakikita
Gustuhin ko mang mapasaya ka'y hindi ko kaya
Pagkat gaya mo,
Pag-ibig kong ito'y sa lihim ko lang maipapadarama

Kung pwede ko lang punan ang sakit na nariyan
Ngunit turing mo sakin ay kaibigan lang
Sigaw ng puso ko'y sanay pakinggan
Pag-ibig mo'y sana para sakin na lamang

Nakita kang sobrang masaya
Ngunit ang mga tawa'y di sa 'kin pala
Ang pag-ibig na nasa 'yong mga mata'y para sa iba
Subalit sinisigaw ng mga kinang ay pagmamahal
Dahil kagaya ko,
ang iniibig mo'y may mahal nang iba

Ang mundo nga nama'y kung umikot nakakatawa
Pareho tayong nagmahal sa mga may mahal nang iba
Ilang taon na rin ang nakalipas mula nun
Pag-ibig ay pinalaya sa agos ng dagat
Akala ko noo'y puso mo'y nasa langit na
Ngayon ang tanging hiling ko nalang
ang wagas na pag-ibig ay mahanap mo na

********************************************************

IM BACK!!!!!

As to why I've been gone from blogging for more than two months? I'll explain it in my next few posts.

Next question: Why such poem?

Well, nothing. It's for no particular person or feeling. I read a former post of a friend and thought of using my past experienceS (note: experience with the S. therefore not just one ok? *smile*) to write something as a response to his/her feelings.

Pardon this post. I know the poem is really bad. It's because it has been months since I last tried writing a so-called poem so I'm still kinda getting back the hang of it. I made it in just a couple of minutes so I never really got the chance to meditate more on the emotions. Well, that's the real purpose of it though. It's suppose to be light and not make others nostalgic. It's to cite how love can be like a triangle or even a square! That the world does sometimes rotate ironically. (huh?) And the title? Like I said, the poem's basically about love. How others get lucky right away for finding someone that will love them back and how others experience the "unrequited love".

It's also structured like a song. Since I'm hoping that someone will like it, fix it, and make it a song. NO! I'm just kidding. I just like to pattern it that way.

I'll try to gather up my other scribbles and post them here. And, with my busy schedule, I'll also try to update my blog every now and then. For now, just bear with the poem.