numb to the pain

Posted by -edz- on 9:36 PM
--originally posted last Oct 10, '06 2:02 PM--

I know I did something wrong.
And it hurts me every time I do it over and over again.
It hurts me.
Yet I try to be who I am not.
I try to be numb.
I try to pretend I don't get hurt by the pain.
But every time I do; the more I feared, the more I get scared.
I'm just trying to protect and to keep something I really love and care for.
And this is the only way I know how to do it.
It's sad to admit the reality but I am not blind with its' presence.
Yet I try to avoid it and just think of other causes to why this thing exists.
Sometimes I think I'm the only one doing my part, well am I?
It would have been better if the other road is open.
If only turnabouts are that easy and don't require skills.
I don't regret this happening and I try not to think of its' consequence, though I know it will come soon.
Because I'd rather suffer alone than loose that one thing I care for.


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