There are lessons in randomness. It's our journey!: fairytale

Posted by -edz- on 10:01 PM in life, thoughts

--originally posted last Oct 14, '06 12:07 AM--

every girl has her own fairytale.

i used to not have one. till i was influenced by the people around me. i realized how great it would be to dream. to finally experience, even for just one night, how it would be like to be a princess. even just the sense of how it feels. even for just one night.

a night for yourself. a night where all that matters is you. a night where all the stars shine upon you. and you just can't stop yourself from smiling and be thankful for all those love. all these years.

just one night to feel your the most beautiful princess in the whole wide world. (sounds very childish) just one night to spend with all the people you love. to hear how you came into their lives, how you once made them laugh and cry, how you where there when they needed you and how they witnessed the sad and happy times in your life. just one night to remind you that you live a great imperfect life. and how all these people made it feel almost close to perfection.

just one night to laugh with all your friends. just one dance to remember, with the one whom you gave your heart to. just one night to count your countless blessings. just one night to be really thankful. to be really grateful.

yet. just one decision. and all those fantasies disappear all of a sudden. the fairytale you once dreamt of is now just a memory of all those years that you were once full of hope.

i closed that book. i forced myself to leave that chapter unended. i try to forget how i once hoped to be a princess. yet they keep on asking how i wanted the story to end. all those questions brought life to my fantasies. they made me dream again. to hope again.

all only to just break me. to fall on my knees once more. i don't want to open that book anymore. i'm tired of feeling this emptiness. this isn't about feeling a princess because of the material things I have. this isn't about the masked smiles. this isn't about the unfamiliar laughters. this isn't about the chained limited freedom. this is about my life. i wanted that one night for all the people who shaped me to be present.

i asked for just one night. but without them. celebrating is just feeling alone. the stars are just darkness that blinds me. it is just one way of breaking me more apart. i will not be whole. again. that one night will not anymore complete me. because without those people. i can never be. till then i can only be a puzzle with a missing piece.

What my name means

You Are Gracious and Amicable

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.
You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.
At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row.
You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace.
People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality.

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.
You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.
Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are incredibly wise and perceptive. You have a lot of life experience.
You are a natural peacemaker, and you are especially good at helping others get along.
But keeping the peace in your own life is not easy. You see things very differently, and it's hard to get you to budge.

You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily.
You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind.
A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable.

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.
Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.
Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.
You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.
You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.
You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.
You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.

You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.
You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.
At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.

You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated.
You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want.
You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way!

You are deeply philosophical and thoughtful. You tend to analyze every aspect of your life.
You are intuitive, brilliant, and quite introverted. You value your time alone.
Often times, you are grumpy with other people. You don't appreciate them trying to interfere in your affairs.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

There are lessons in randomness. It's our journey!

fairytale

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What my name means