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thoughtless?

Posted by -edz- on 10:13 PM in ,
--originally posted last Nov 4, '06 12:38 AM--

*sigh*

i'm bored. but i got so many things to do. i got a really really long list of assignments, projects, readings, speeches, tours, etc. it's just that i'm not eager to do them. i lost my determination. and so i cling to my new bestfriends "boredom" and "internet".

i've been spending too much time in front of the computer these past few months. which is really unusual because i am not the computer type of person. but now, i think i've become addicted to the internet and to the wonders a computer does. just like right now. instead of going to bed and rest so i can have energy for tomorrow's struggles, i'm here. i'm here encoding this crap.

in fact i wasn't thinking of writing about my new pals. a while ago i was thinking of something else to write but as i press the letters in my keyboard thoughts came to my mind. and here i am again. reflecting about my life. about its' new obstacles and whatsoever. i guess i've been trying to avoid reality these past few months. i've been trying to escape my new life with excuses that i'm challenged by the internet and by my computer. that i need to master them to be able to get back on track. what an escape goat. i'm really good with it though. but i'm tired of it. in a day i can't anymore count the number of hours i dedicate to my computer and i've lost track to the number of times i sign in to friendster, multiply, myspace, tagged, my blog, my high school class' blog, my friends' blogs, tristancafe, youtube, and my 3 email accounts and to whatever sites that come to my mind. good thing i still have my brain during classes. it hasn't failed me but i've failed it, a lot of times already.

i'm getting sick and tired of this routine. (or of my life?) oh well, not that it's really boring. but no matter what i do i just can't forever hide from reality. it's already december next month. i need to hustle to get back to my spot. my list says i need to rush! and despite how lazy i think i've become i can still feel that atenean spirit in me that says "ADMG". i don't wanna disappoint my God. if i can't do this for myself or my family, at least i might try for Him.

gosh.. what am i saying? it's already early morning. i need to have some sleep.

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